I absolutely do not understand this at all. Chris asked if I knew anyone who had a tent he could borrow for the Ren Faire. I delivered. So off he goes, telling me he's going by himself and then calls me later saying the tent is set up and he's turning in. Except it was all a big lie. He went down with Betsy and they're staying in a hotel. A few public FaceBook posts combined with some texts and phone calls to me and he hung himself with his own rope.
I could care less what he does as long as Ethan isn't involved. But why lie? Why does he still do the grocery shopping for the house a few times each month? Why does he take out the trash and move it to the curb on Trash day? Why does he help with laundry and dishes while he's waiting for Ethan to get off the bus? Why does his FaceBook profile still say we're married? Why don't we have a separation agreement? Why won't he sign a Voluntary Support Agreement so I can file it with the court to ensure Ethan gets child support? Why does he still act like a husband?
My instinct tells me he's afraid to make anything permanent. He has refused to sign the VSA, and that scares me. I have nothing but his word to pay me $250 each week, which hasn't happened in over a month. We've agreed to $450 twice each month, so why won't he sign it and let me file it with the court? I've asked for a Quit Claim Deed, which he won't consider either. Why doesn't he want anything on record in the court system? If he's afraid of making this permanent, then why is he keeping Betsy on the side? He can't have it both ways.
The truth is, I don't want him in my life. At all. We've already agreed that I would have primary custody and he would have visitation, which only makes sense. Ethan has his own room here, he goes to school in this district, his track-out program is on my way to work. I have a steady job, benefits and a set schedule. Sure, my life had changed, but I'm a better person for it. Ethan and I have a routine at home that works for us. My house is clean. I do laundry on the weekends and shop for groceries on Tuesday nights. I make Ethan's lunch for school every night. He plays the Wii for 30 minutes, goes upstairs to use the potty and brush teeth, then it's tine for pajammy's. He plays in his room for about an hour which gives me enough time to get some laundry done, and then it's snuggle time until about 9:00, and he's asleep by 9:30. It's the routine and structure he is used to and needs at home. I'm not sure if he's getting that with Chris. Once a week and every-other weekend (which has not happened since September). I'm glad he's working, but I'm not so pleased that he pawns Ethan off to his parents if he is supposed to watch Ethan but runs off to work instead. After school for 30 minutes or so, I understand and completely support and am very grateful his Mom or Dad are able to watch Ethan until I pick him up after work. But I have a real problem if it's going to be several hours, or if his parents are responsible for putting Ethan to bed. They are going through a tremendous amount of stress dealing with Grandaddy and Memaw's health. I respect them for offering to watch Ethan, but I can't respect Chris for always taking them up on their offers when he KNOWS what they are going through. Chris needs to man-up and do things for himself. Get a job that pays well and consistently so he can afford the $1000 of child support and alimony Ethan and I are due each month. He has a brain in his head, but The unfamiliar holds him back. He's unwilling to try new things, even if it's to provide for his family. It's ironic that after being with him and married for 8 years, he is exactly in the same position as when I found him. Broke, jobless and moving in with his parents. Nothing but a charming smile, outrageous (if completely untrue) stories, and lots of pretty words. He lied to me the day I met him - pretending to be British for God's sake. If he had confessed to doing it to pick me up, it would have been a sweet story. But he kept up the charade for months. I told my Mom about this handsome, charming Brit, and he let me. Even spoke to her on the phone with his "accent". It wasn't until a fee months later when I was having lunch with his parents that I learned about the deception. He kept it up for MONTHS. And I fell for it. Just like everyone falls for his false promises and sweet words.
He ran from his first marriage, forcing his wife to file abandonment charges against him. He ran from this marriage right when I needed him most, and had two affairs before taking off. Both affairs - in less than a week in each case - did he claim to love the girl dnd want to be with them forever. Alicia was lucky, she got out. (well, Chris and I decided to reconcile and he broke things off). Two days later, along comes Betsy, and within a week he's telling her that he loves her. It seems to be a pattern. FInd a girl, feed her all the words she wants to hear, then sponge off her until it's time to leave. The going gets rough, and Chris gets going. The only difference this time is he's forced to stick around for the dissolution of this marriage because we have a child together. Honestly, if Ethan didn't love his Dad so much, I'd due for full custody and leave him with visitation at my discretion. I don't want Ethan to learn how to lie. I want him to learn to take responsibility for his actions and be confident enough to know that he doesn't have to make up stories to get people to like him.
No comments:
Post a Comment