It took me about a month of therapy to realize why I hate Betsy so much and why I don’t want her anywhere near Ethan.
I can forgive Chris for his mistakes. I really can. We have an eight year history, and I know how rocky it’s been these past few years. Mental illness aside, I understand why he reached out to others when he needed that emotional connection with someone, and I can forgive him for that. I was literally incapable of bonding with him. I can forgive him for reaching out to other women. They gave him the friendship and support he needed and all had the graciousness to back down when they realized there was a child involved.
All except Betsy.
Instead of doing the right thing, she took advantage of his emotional weakness and selfishly inserted herself into his life. I can forgive the break-up of the marriage. What I can't, and probably never will be able to forgive, is how she forever altered Ethan’s world without a second thought.
I will never understand how a human being could hurt an innocent child like that, and then claim to care for him. It feels like a form of child abuse. If she cared for him, she would have walked away and let our marriage sink or swim on its own. It would have sank, but that would have been our choice. We would have been able to come to that realization on our own, and the consequences would have been handled far differently. I'm not going to assume to know anything of Betsy's upbringing, but I'm led to understand that only children are prone to getting their own way. Want. Take. Have. And that's just what she did.
I don’t want her near Ethan because I blame her for breaking Ethan’s world apart. She took that decision out of our hands and made it her own.
I don't particularly care about the role she played in the breakup of my marriage. Been there, done that. Got the t-shirt. Whatever. What I am feeling is a seething rage at the mere thought of her being anywhere near my son. And I am nowhere near ready to deal with that anger.
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