Welcome to the Video Blog (maybe)

I recently upgraded to an iPhone 4 and it has sone pretty nifty video editing capabilities, as well as a hi-def video recorder. I've been playing around with the idea of keeping a web log on YouTube. Dunno if I'll actually have the guts to do it, but it's something I'm considering.

I realised today that in addition to my bipolar, I'm also codependent. If you think aboutbit, it makes sense. Chris lies and denies it, I have my suspiciouns that he is lying and become hostile - because that is the only way I know to protect myself from the crushing hurt that follows. Then I become manipulative and ask indirect questions trying to catch him outvin a lie, and when I do, I'm furious, which makes him lie even more...which makes me hostile..,

It's such a self-destructive cycle. I can't seem to stop following up and checking up on him because I don't believe a word he says. Ever. How am I supposed to heal from this if I can't let it go? What need is this behavior of mine fulfilling? I hate it.