August used to be one of my favorite months. The beginning of the end of summer. The excitement of starting a new school year. Tax-Free weekend. My final month of pregnancy and eagerly awaiting the arrival of my son.
This month feels tainted to me now. I think I'll look back on this month as quite possibly the most painful and heartbreaking month of my life. The promise of reconciliation destroyed. The discovery and witnessed affair. The broken promises. Lies, deceit, betrayal. My apparent sado-masochistic willingness to allow myself to hope and then watch helplessly as more of my life crumbles around me. I thought I was prepared, but oh...I am so not. This month has been a tragic lesson in what happens when you trust someone and they abuse that privilege, smash you over the head with it and laugh as you bleed.
And then I look at Ethan. My child with Autism and I think how amazing he is. It's true he's not good at making eye contact or holding a conversation. He also doesn't lie, cheat at games, pass judgement on people or tattle on his classmates. I wish I could be more like him.
I wish a lot of people could be more like him.
No comments:
Post a Comment